BurbleChaz

We over-optimized the tram planning this morning. Two trams left within minute of each other as we watched helplessly from the wrong side of the street. Once the lights changed and we got to the tram stop, we had a six minute wait for the next one. The birds squawking in the trees are bright green and red parrot-like things. The trees are fully mature palms, ten metres tall.

The locals say that if you don't like the weather here, just wait ten minutes. It started out dull, grey and mild. Around lunchtime it cheered up and got quite warm. Now it's windy and cold. The weather forecasts here seem almost random. The Met Office in the UK gets abuse for their forecasting, but their Australian equivalent just gets ignored. The problem is in the geography and oceanology. I imagine weather forecasting for Perth is relatively straightforward. Most major Australian cities are on the south and east coasts, which makes it a bit harder. To the south we have 2000 kilometres of Southern Ocean, reaching from Antarctica to 32 degrees south. To the north we have a vast baking continent. Melbourne is at the downstream end of the 3000km long interaction zone between the air masses over these hugely different environments. Currently, it makes English Spring weather look dull and predictable.

Our sea freight should arrive in Port Melbourne in about ten days time. It will probably take two weeks to clear customs and quarantine. Until then, we're still camping out a bit. We've bought one reasonably decent knife, but we're missing our razor-like Sabatier tools. Somehow, a meal cooked in an Ikea saucepan isn't the same as one cosseted in our Le Creuset.

Burblage level: Sufficient. Wine: Brokenwood Shiraz (McLaren Vale, Padthaway) 2001. Charming, assertive, spicy, peppery. We've never had a Brokenwood that did less than delight.

With any luck, something might happen tomorrow, and I can entertain you with more implausible exaggerations and outright lies. Failing that, there'll be pictures.