BurbleChaz

The flat-pack furniture we opened yesterday specified a fearsome array of tools for its construction. It turns out that this was largely a ruse to obfuscate the lack of crucial components in the kit.

We took a tram to Queen Victoria Market to see if we could find a hardware merchant. First, we acquired a coffee from a stall. Despite some hygiene issues, the coffee that came out was (apparently) quite spiffing. Alertness levels went from 'snoozing wombat' to 'retail tiger' in four minutes.

We found the tool seller, acquired the tools and were back on a tram early enough to rearrange our day for retail.

We drove down the toll road to the Biggest Retail Extravaganza In The Entire World. It's actually called Chadstone shopping centre. I can imagine the marketing meeting: "Hey, it's in Chadstone, it's a 'center' where you can 'shop'. Let's call it...". Morons. "Vast Cathedral of Commerce", "Colossal Cavern of Choice", "Melbourne Monument to Mammon"....See? I could have done marketing. If only I'd got the grades. Unfortunately, I got As, not Fs. I could be doing 'Product Positioning'. If only I'd never learnt to read...

The mall is vast. Huge. Colossal. We bough some stuff. Bulky stuff, so I took it back to the car, while Other People continued to swoon in delight at the whole retail opportunity. This mall is so large that I became temporarily unsure of position. It took me twenty minutes to find the car. Next time, I'm taking the GPS.

Unfortunately, we didn't find anything better than Ikea furniture. So, being sensible and pragmatic, we went back to Ikea for some more abuse. They were happy to dish it out...

Enough whinging. The apartment's starting to look like ours. We love it.