A Golden Orb Weaver created a perfect web across our deck last night. The horticulturalist walked face-first into it as she tended her plants this morning. I was called. Apparently, spiders are my part of ship. This was made Very Clear Indeed.
The web had to go. We will not be separated from the barbecue. I wielded the Mighty Sword of Smiting (a metre-long bamboo) , and the spider retreated to the shrubbery.
Not being a total neophyte in the matter of venomous Australian fauna, I checked the deck again this afternoon. There was the architect, structural supports in place, planning her next creation. The Mighty Sword swept into action once more.
After sunset I went to check on her intentions. I found her (Australian spiders are not hard to find -it’s the size) hanging under the deck rail, planning her next move. I shone my torch on her. She slowly turned her ventral aspect towards me and spread her chelicerae. At that moment, i knew exactly how the males of this species feel at the final moment. I have been intimidated by an arthropod.
Later, before I took the enormous telescope outside, I checked for face-level venomous spiders bent on revenge. Not something that happens often in , for example, Chipping Sodbury.
This time, I gave her some flying lessons. I heard the *thwat* as she hit the tree. I’m hoping that’s the end of the matter. Hoping. The only certainty is that the deck isn’t big enough for both of us. Everything to play for, nothing to lose and we both have chemical weapons….
